This is what you should aks instead.


My mom is a soul born way ahead of her time. She was teaching me meditation practices decades before it became mainstream, she taught me the value of personal growth by example, she sneaked me into her development workshops when I was a little girl, and she managed to do it all in high heels, as a respected and admired professor and researcher, and under the judging eyes of my dad… you will hear me talking A LOT about my mom.
BUT, every yin has a yang, every coin has two faces, and every mom can turn her immense knowledge against our youthful naïveté.

One night, as I was getting ready for a party, my mom asked WHY was I wearing such a short skirt? A smart girl myself, I had tons of answers ready for her: It looks great, it’s in fashion, all my friends are wearing it (have you ever heard this one before?), I have NOTHING else to wear (and this one?)… After I had exhausted my list of REASONS to wear the skimpy skirt, and while I was feeling triumphant and satisfied, my mom proceeded to ask: Ok, and WHAT are you wearing it FOR ?

Silence… gasp… realization… I didn’t want to answer out loud, I didn’t want to tell my mom I did it so “boys will look at me” or because that way maybe “I would feel accepted” instead of always being this “goody two shoes” I had come to be. 
I pulled the skirt down a bit, but the real change happened inside. Ever since I have asked myself and others: WHY? and WHAT FOR? 

It’s sometimes hard to stay on track, reasons and excuses keep flowing, but don’t fool yourself and don’t let others fool you, find the answer to WHAT AM I DOING THIS FOR? Keep searching until you have a response. Only then you’ll be dealing with your truth. 
As always, please ask me questions about this topic and about its practical applications.

Adriana Dyurich